Chemistry we meet again – for the second time. I hope this is the last time. I hate you.
I’m sitting in class in Albuquerque, wondering how many times my professor is going to reference Breaking Bad or crystal meth. I could make a drinking game out of it. Every time someone in my class brings it up, I’m going to eat another M&M.
WHY am I doing this, again? When I decided to go back to school for nursing, I knew it was going to be long. I knew it would be difficult.
I knew ten years ago, after I graduated from high school, that I needed to go to college. Something even said nursing, but I didn’t want to. I wasn’t exactly a straight A student. My math class in High School taught me how to balance my check book and pay my taxes. (I barely passed).
Instead of college, I decided to go into cosmetology and hairstyling. I enjoyed it, and I was pretty good at it! I met some amazing hairstylists and wonderful people. But it wasn’t fulfilling. I burned out after only a few years. Tip your hairstylists! They work hard.
My husband, Jon loves school and is incredibly smart. He started college shortly after we moved to Albuquerque. While I was learning to balance my finances he was learning about Physics and Calculus. Nerd.
Jon always encouraged me to go back to school, he encourages me in anything. If I said I wanted to build a rocket and go to the moon he’d start drawing up blue prints. I knew I needed to go back to school, but I had plenty of reasons not to. I’m not smart enough, it’s too much money and we’re broke. I’m squeamish and blood scares me. What if I go through all that and hate it?
FINALLY, I signed up for one class, but it wasn’t for nursing. Interpersonal Communication Skills. I got an A! It wasn’t a difficult class at all, I just had to show up, but I got an A! I signed up for a few more “basket weaving” classes. It would at least shut Jon up and give me something to do.
Then I went to Haiti. And fell in love. When I returned home I realized I would never be satisfied unless I had a degree in something that would matter. I would never be satisfied until I could travel and actually do something important. Something that would meet a need. So I signed up for prerequisite nursing classes. That was two years ago and here I am. I’m in Chemistry – for the second attempt, eating M&Ms.
Every new semester is more difficult than the last to stay motivated. But I know my heart just won’t quit Haiti, or what it symbolizes to me. I can’t just walk away from school. It’s not an option.
At least I have somewhat hip professor and 2 more pounds of M&Ms.